CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES...

My husband started a new job today. It got me thinking about change. It's a strange thing, change. The dictionary has several definitions, but they all mean the same thing: something in your life, something you are used to is about to be completely different. Many people love change. They think of it as an opportunity to explore new horizons, learn new things, blah, blah, blah. I, on the other hand, am scared to death of change. The idea of things I'm comfortable with suddenly being different freaks me the hell out! SERIOUSLY! Even normal life changes like a new job or starting a family make me a nervous wreck...
So how does someone who is afraid of change handle change? If you're me, you become a control freak! I try to control every detail of my life and my family's lives. From the smallest details to the biggest catastrophes, I try to micro-manage everything. As I'm typing this, I'm thinking "Good Lord, that's ridiculous - you can't control everything." Of course, not being a control freak would mean, guess what - CHANGING part of my personality. Vicious cycle...So there you have it - a little insight into my mind, if you dare!

Getting to know you...

Tell me about yourself? It's a question we're asked often: website bios, job interviews, new friends. It's also a question I have a really hard time answering. I know the basics - I'm married, 32 years old, a manager for a non-profit organization, but that doesn't really describe who I am. So, I thought I'd take some time (because I'm bored and don't want to work today) to dig deep. As my mother used to say, I'm going to search within myself... Here goes - the good, bad and ugly!!!
I am a smart ass (BIG TIME) - especially with my husband. This works for us, because he's a smart ass too. The bad thing is, I have to watch myself in mixed company because I'm constantly wanting to smart off. Not good when at work!!! And some folks don't appreciate a good back-handed comment so you have to know when to strike.
I'm a cold bitch. I don't get sick often and when I do, I push through it. So, it's hard for me to deal with whiners. I'm told I will develop more sympathy when I have a kid, but we'll see. My mother raised me that way too so maybe my kids are doomed!
I'm pretty damned funny. I don't let it out much because I'm reserved - even with good friends, but if you are lucky enough to be around when I let loose, beware!
I have a potty mouth! I blame my father for that one. I swear like a sailor! I can't control it, it just comes out!
I'm painfully shy. I have a hard time being myself in front of anyone. I'm always afraid I will hurt someone's feelings or say something stupid so I clam up, which makes most people think I'm a bitch - which I tend to be as well. In the immortal words of Delores Claiborne (by way of Kathy Bates) "Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to." Enough said...
I'm very passionate about politics. I got this from my dad too. I am very conservative. Of course, I can't discuss politics with my friends because strangely, most of them are opposite from me politically.
I could not live without music - not for one day! The best part of my day is when I get in my car and I can turn on my iPod and sing at the top of my lungs. I'm also a music snob. I like what I like and everything else is crap. My poor husband never gets to listen to his hair band nonsense because I control the music! (another bad quality I got from my dad)
Which leads me to another doozy... I'm an anal-retentive, control freak!!! This is probably the most annoying part of my bio. I can't stand the unknown and I HATE not being in control. Luckily, I married a man who lets me have the reigns because otherwise, I don't think we'd make it.
I do have a few good qualities: I'm a good listener. I give good advice. I'm very smart. I know a lot about a lot of things and love to keep learning. I have good instincts. I'm a good singer and dancer. I love my mom more than anything in the world.
So there you have it, the painful truth... If you're still reading this you're probably wondering why anyone would want to be around me. :-)