CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES...

My husband started a new job today. It got me thinking about change. It's a strange thing, change. The dictionary has several definitions, but they all mean the same thing: something in your life, something you are used to is about to be completely different. Many people love change. They think of it as an opportunity to explore new horizons, learn new things, blah, blah, blah. I, on the other hand, am scared to death of change. The idea of things I'm comfortable with suddenly being different freaks me the hell out! SERIOUSLY! Even normal life changes like a new job or starting a family make me a nervous wreck...
So how does someone who is afraid of change handle change? If you're me, you become a control freak! I try to control every detail of my life and my family's lives. From the smallest details to the biggest catastrophes, I try to micro-manage everything. As I'm typing this, I'm thinking "Good Lord, that's ridiculous - you can't control everything." Of course, not being a control freak would mean, guess what - CHANGING part of my personality. Vicious cycle...So there you have it - a little insight into my mind, if you dare!

Oh, the wacky things we do...

Growing up, I remember my mom joking with my dad. She'd look at him with an impish grin and say "The only man I'd ever leave you for is Kenny Rogers." I thought this was oddly hilarious since my mom is a very conservative, loyal woman who would never even think of stepping out. It turns out, this apple didn't fall far from the tree. I now have my very own celebri-crush. Yes folks, I have lost my mind... Nowadays, I look at my husband (with the same devilish grin my mom has), and say "The only man I'd ever leave you for is Jensen Ackles." :-) (For the record, I will never leave my husband.) Luckily, Roy is a very understanding man!! So understanding, in fact, that when we went to Plano, TX this weekend for our anniversary, he was the Bill to my Ted - and it was indeed an excellent adventure...
Who is this Jensen Ackles and what is so special about him, you may ask? He is an actor on my favorite show: Supernatural on the CW. I first noticed his acting a few years ago when the show started - he's the best I've seen on TV in years. Then it hit me one day: this guy is crazy hot! For real, it's ridiculous how beautiful the man is... He's also a southern boy, which makes him even hotter. He was raised in Richardson, TX - another suburb of Dallas, just south and east of Plano. Curiosity (and severe boredom) got the best of me one night not too long ago, and I decided to see if the elder Ackles' were listed. They still live in the Dallas area after all. There they were on Anywho - address, phone number and all! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!
Fast forward to last Friday. Roy and I drove into Plano that night looking forward to finally getting away for a bit. Whenever we get the chance to go out of town for the weekend, we always choose Plano because we both love the vibe there.
We got up Saturday morning and went to this great little "Mom and Pop" restaurant for breakfast. We finished eating and that's when my crazy came out. I looked at Roy and said, "you know, we're not far from where Jensen's parents live." My darling, sweet, looney husband just smiled and said, "where is it?" I was nauseous, flustered and exhilarated all in the same moment. Fortunately, I always have my handy iPhone with Google maps so I'm ready in a moment's notice to find any destination on the planet. So I Google the address and off we went to stalk my celebri-crush. It was uneventful, we didn't see anyone and I barely looked at the house as we drove past the first time (that's right, I said the FIRST TIME). I just knew that someone would see us and know that we did not belong in that neighborhood... Roy got such a kick out of my embarrassment. I think he had more fun that I did. He got a taste of what girls do when they have a crush - seriously, who hasn't driven by a boy's house hoping to catch a glimpse??? Anyhow, we did our thing the rest of that day and had a great time. The next day we were out and about when Roy looked at me with a huge grin and said, "Jensen's house isn't far from here." I almost wet my pants laughing as he turned to drive by again. This time I took a better look, but was still freaking out - I swear I thought someone was going to make us! :-)
You think that was bananas - just wait... Not only did we drive by his house - we found his High School too! I know, right - we are "dingo ate my baby crazy!" haha
We came home on Monday (thanks to a President's Day vacation day!), but not before Roy suggested driving by once more. REALLY - three times! Of course we did not see anyone during any of those drive-bys, but it was a hoot. Roy and I had more fun together on this trip than we've had in months; maybe longer.
So what is the moral to this story? I didn't really have one. Come to think of it, I was rambling on a bit. If I have to have a moral, it would be this: do something crazy once in a while. Even if you think you might get arrested. Call it family bonding...
PS - If anyone who knows Jensen happens upon this blog, please do not call the cops. We mean you no harm! I swear we were just having fun!!! :-)

Getting to know you...

Tell me about yourself? It's a question we're asked often: website bios, job interviews, new friends. It's also a question I have a really hard time answering. I know the basics - I'm married, 32 years old, a manager for a non-profit organization, but that doesn't really describe who I am. So, I thought I'd take some time (because I'm bored and don't want to work today) to dig deep. As my mother used to say, I'm going to search within myself... Here goes - the good, bad and ugly!!!
I am a smart ass (BIG TIME) - especially with my husband. This works for us, because he's a smart ass too. The bad thing is, I have to watch myself in mixed company because I'm constantly wanting to smart off. Not good when at work!!! And some folks don't appreciate a good back-handed comment so you have to know when to strike.
I'm a cold bitch. I don't get sick often and when I do, I push through it. So, it's hard for me to deal with whiners. I'm told I will develop more sympathy when I have a kid, but we'll see. My mother raised me that way too so maybe my kids are doomed!
I'm pretty damned funny. I don't let it out much because I'm reserved - even with good friends, but if you are lucky enough to be around when I let loose, beware!
I have a potty mouth! I blame my father for that one. I swear like a sailor! I can't control it, it just comes out!
I'm painfully shy. I have a hard time being myself in front of anyone. I'm always afraid I will hurt someone's feelings or say something stupid so I clam up, which makes most people think I'm a bitch - which I tend to be as well. In the immortal words of Delores Claiborne (by way of Kathy Bates) "Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to." Enough said...
I'm very passionate about politics. I got this from my dad too. I am very conservative. Of course, I can't discuss politics with my friends because strangely, most of them are opposite from me politically.
I could not live without music - not for one day! The best part of my day is when I get in my car and I can turn on my iPod and sing at the top of my lungs. I'm also a music snob. I like what I like and everything else is crap. My poor husband never gets to listen to his hair band nonsense because I control the music! (another bad quality I got from my dad)
Which leads me to another doozy... I'm an anal-retentive, control freak!!! This is probably the most annoying part of my bio. I can't stand the unknown and I HATE not being in control. Luckily, I married a man who lets me have the reigns because otherwise, I don't think we'd make it.
I do have a few good qualities: I'm a good listener. I give good advice. I'm very smart. I know a lot about a lot of things and love to keep learning. I have good instincts. I'm a good singer and dancer. I love my mom more than anything in the world.
So there you have it, the painful truth... If you're still reading this you're probably wondering why anyone would want to be around me. :-)

D@M# Writer's Strike!!!

For those of you who don't know, my favorite show - maybe ever - is Supernatural on the CW. I love that show, I love those two boys and I LOVE that ridiculously hot '67 Impala!! I found myself thinking today what I might do if that show were cancelled. Yes, I'm going there and it's killing me ;-)... I was reading a news story about a hopeful end to the writer's strike. I learned something very disturbing... It seems that some shows - even though they were picked up for a certain number of episodes this season - may not finish the season because of production times and such... BOO I say, BOOO! Why should we be made to suffer because the writer's walked out? Anyhow, I went on to read that some of these shows may not even get picked up for next season if they are lower rated shows - REALLY!?!?! Some of these shows - Supernatural included - are great shows that just have a crappy time slot (SERIOUSLY, you're going to put the best show you've got against CSI and Grey's Anatomy - great thinking CW, way to give a show a chance!!!). All these years invested in a show and we may not even get to hear the end of the story??? What's that about????? How can the very people who depend on us for their livelihood screw us over so easily? You would think they'd bend over backwards to make up for the last three months of crap reruns and having mind-dulling reality TV shoved down our throats. I guess it's always about the bottom line. OK, I got on my soapbox for a bit - sorry!I've put too much thought into this, huh???

So I've Been Thinking...

So I've been thinking alot lately about regrets... I seem to have more than my share of them. It's not exactly a bad thing, wondering what might have been different, better. I know everyone has something they regret, it's pretty normal. My biggest regret is music. To be completely honest, I am not a self-confident person, those who know me probably have that one figured out. But I do know one thing: I can sing really well! I've always been able to and that is the one thing I've always loved doing. Growing up, I never thought about anything else as a career - I was going to sing. Problem is, I'm terribly shy, which does not exactly lend itself to a career in the spotlight. Singing in public isn't really the problem - talking to strangers is. I guess I listened too well when my mom told me not to talk to strangers...So anyway, I've been thinking about this stuff a lot (you know getting old makes you start thinking more - CRAP). I've decided it's not too late yet. I'm going to take up guitar and piano - AGAIN - and start writing songs. Not that I want to be a superstar. I just want to do it for myself and maybe share it with family and friends. I have a wonderful background in piano - thanks Mom, and I'm sorry I was such a brat all those years you tried to teach me. I have my dad's old guitar and his words in my head. My dad rocked the guitar until his hands wouldn't let him play anymore. He taught himself and I'm hoping I have his gift (at least a bit of it). One thing I learned this week in my quest for self-satisfaction... The guitar is a Bit@? OUCH - SERIOUSLY!!! My fingers hurt like a mother!!! I also don't think I've got many of my dad's guitar genes (or maybe it's the patience I lack). It seems that a G chord is the best I can do at this point. Hey, maybe I can write a song with only a G chord??? :-) But I will persevere. I am determined and stubborn to a fault (just ask anyone in my family and my patiently understanding husband - God love them for dealing with me all these years). I'll learn that stinkin' guitar if it kills me! Maybe one day you'll hear me on MySpace! :-)

Confession...

OK, so I have a confession to make... I LOVE ELLEN DEGENERES!!! Not in an "Oh my God, I want to marry her" way, but in an "Oh my God, she is so freakin' hillarious I can't stand it" way. I swear, if you've never seen her show you have no idea what you are missing. If you work when it's on, it's called TIVO!!! She's funnier than - well I can't think of anything right now, but she's damn funny!!! I am lucky enough to get to watch TV at work and I never miss her show! I am not kidding you, most days I am literally in pain trying to hold in my laughter!!! The funniest one ever had to be Monday, when she ordered this CRAZY exercise chair - http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/01/hawaii_chair.php - I mean SERIOUSLY, how can you not roll on the floor at that!?!?!?! We should all go out and buy a Hawaii Chair - really I think the world would be a happier place if EVERYONE got to ride the Hawaii Chair at least once a day... How could you possibly be in a bad mood after that??? It may actually be the answer to world peace!!! Want to drop a bomb on those terrorists??? Don't press the button, ride the Hawaii Chair!!! Hate that driver who cut you off this morning??? Before you pull out that pistol, take a ride on the Hawaii Chair!!! Get my drift?
Anyway, that's my confession for those of you interested. If you're still reading this - go buy the Hawaii Chair and have a great day! :-)