February 11, 2008

So I've Been Thinking...

So I've been thinking alot lately about regrets... I seem to have more than my share of them. It's not exactly a bad thing, wondering what might have been different, better. I know everyone has something they regret, it's pretty normal. My biggest regret is music. To be completely honest, I am not a self-confident person, those who know me probably have that one figured out. But I do know one thing: I can sing really well! I've always been able to and that is the one thing I've always loved doing. Growing up, I never thought about anything else as a career - I was going to sing. Problem is, I'm terribly shy, which does not exactly lend itself to a career in the spotlight. Singing in public isn't really the problem - talking to strangers is. I guess I listened too well when my mom told me not to talk to strangers...So anyway, I've been thinking about this stuff a lot (you know getting old makes you start thinking more - CRAP). I've decided it's not too late yet. I'm going to take up guitar and piano - AGAIN - and start writing songs. Not that I want to be a superstar. I just want to do it for myself and maybe share it with family and friends. I have a wonderful background in piano - thanks Mom, and I'm sorry I was such a brat all those years you tried to teach me. I have my dad's old guitar and his words in my head. My dad rocked the guitar until his hands wouldn't let him play anymore. He taught himself and I'm hoping I have his gift (at least a bit of it). One thing I learned this week in my quest for self-satisfaction... The guitar is a Bit@? OUCH - SERIOUSLY!!! My fingers hurt like a mother!!! I also don't think I've got many of my dad's guitar genes (or maybe it's the patience I lack). It seems that a G chord is the best I can do at this point. Hey, maybe I can write a song with only a G chord??? :-) But I will persevere. I am determined and stubborn to a fault (just ask anyone in my family and my patiently understanding husband - God love them for dealing with me all these years). I'll learn that stinkin' guitar if it kills me! Maybe one day you'll hear me on MySpace! :-)

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